Behaving like ourselves is our biggest struggle. The base of so many of our problems.

Scary it is to behave like ourselves. Impossible for many, at the moment. Do you think it's not?
I have a feeling (my personal opinion) that negating ourSELVES and behaving discordingly is the root of so many of our human problems. 

I will remind you that I have a Bachelors and Masters in Psychology, but I'm not officially in the "Order of Psychologists" in Italy - my home country. So I am not a Psychologist and I do NOT cure ilnesses. I provide ideas, I provoke thoughs and most of all, I provoke feelings. Thought are often not enough to reach the full understanding of these topics, you need to feel the reactions in your body when you read them. 

Back to us. 
Depression, Anxiety, Personality disorders. They stem from rejecting, fearing and suppressing the self.
Crazy how as kids being ourselves was so easy for the majority of us, and now it's one of our biggest struggles. To be honest, childhood wasn't even good for many though, and the rejection of self (for safety reasons) started even earlier. You know, children and babies rely on the caregivers for survival, if they behave instinctively and feel the caregiver doesn't like it, they will change it. Survival is more important than self expression. Sad but true!

Let's talk science for a second. I will copy-paste some articles from Consensus, an AI webiste that searches scientific literature (not sponsored). I will not expand on that a lot because I am only interested in the scientific proof to some extent (and we can have a dedicated article about it) but I know that some people like linking what they read to scientific evidence.

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Here is another research thread (from the 1950s):

New papers on the topic: 


Let's get spiritual now how about that?

From the Gospel of Thomas, saying 6: "His disciples asked him and said to him, "Do you want us to fast? How should we pray? Should we give to charity? What diet should we observe?"

Jesus said, "Don't lie, and don't do what you hate, because all things are disclosed before heaven. After all, there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed, and there is nothing covered up that will remain undisclosed."

Why is it so important to not do what you hate? It's the only thing Jesus supposedly said answering to how to behave as believers. 

[Go look up why is the Gospel of Thomas particularly interesting if you are curious by the way]

Since I am not omniscient I like to work with AI to get some answers, not because AI nows better, but because I can then elaborate on it, think CRITICALLY about it. In this case my question was "why is it so important to not do what you hate according to jesus?" - no context, nothing else. I'm curious to see if the same question on another person's device will have different results, let me know!

The answer:
"Why “not doing what you hate” matters in this gnostic context:

1. Integrity of the Self

• In Thomas, salvation is not through ritual or law but through gnosis — direct knowledge of the divine within.

• If you do what you hate, you fracture yourself: outwardly you perform an act, inwardly you reject it. That inner contradiction is a kind of lying with your life.

• Gnosis requires wholeness and authenticity, not hypocrisy.

2. Transparency before God

• Jesus immediately adds: “all things are disclosed before heaven.”

• Nothing is hidden: your inner truth is already known to God/Spirit.

• Doing what you hate is pointless, because the dishonesty is visible anyway. Better to live in alignment with your true being.

3. Freedom from External Law

• The disciples ask about religious practices (fasting, prayer formulas, dietary rules).

• Jesus redirects them: don’t mechanically follow practices that cause resentment, disgust, or hatred.

• Spiritual life is not about oppressive rules but about living truthfully, so that outer action and inner self are united.

4. Psychological & Spiritual Coherence

• To repeatedly do what you hate builds inner corruption — resentment, division, bitterness.

• For gnostic teaching, the path is about dissolving illusion and contradiction. To act against your own truth strengthens illusion.

 What about Buddhism, you may ask? Or at least I did, since I became a buddhist after reading a short message on a Temple Sign in Bangkok, Thailand.

In the Itivuttaka 111, the Buddha says:

“One should not pursue that which one would later regret, nor do what one would later lament.”

And again

Dhammapada 183
Pāli:

Sabba-pāpassa akaraṇaṃ,
kusalassa upasampadā,
sacitta-pariyodapanaṃ,
etaṃ buddhāna sāsanaṃ.

Literal translation:

Not doing any evil,
undertaking the good,
purifying one’s mind —
this is the teaching of the Buddhas.

This is often paraphrased on temple signs into simple English like:

• Don’t do evil (or “don’t hurt”).

• Do good (often phrased in English as “do what you love” or “do what is wholesome”).

• Purify your mind.

So Psychology/Psycoanalysis, Gnostic Christianity, Buddhism and Bea agree for what it seems. 
I'm here to bring some light on the fact that "being ourselves" sounds mainstream and easy, but "behaving like ourselves" is actually not. So many things since we were little seem to row against us. 
I'm here to inspire you to remember what you like, what you believe in, what you stand for, and what you just FEEL is right. Many times, what you feel is right is more important than any other opinion, and it's hidden below some piles of learned information.

What do we do then?
How do ye overcome all this?

Well the best things are:
1) remember who you really are. In every situation, even the most tiny occasions in which you follow something else other than YOU
2) face the fear. Face the feeling that rushes through you when you even CONSIDER behaving like yourself. Face it, sit with it, be courageous and do a big favour to yourself. Dare to make yourself happy.

Email me if you'd like: https://www.lifebites.it/lightbulb-moments/

With love, 
Bea